Dealing with others' Angry Words

I'm not so great at keeping my inner self calm faced with the anger of others towards me.  It is not my fault what others choose to do, yet I CAN choose how I respond to angry words; yet it is a flaw in my character to blame myself for problems.  Problems I did not cause even. 

How do I change this?  Love myself.  Believe in myself and my potential, infinitely larger in scope than I can understand.

I am beautiful.  I am not stupid.  I AM different.   I am an individual.

How do I say this?  

Angry Words are rarely useful.  They are base, dishonorable, and so I want to learn to control my anger.  Respond to anger with something else...something that keeps me calm.

Others say I should respond with love.  While love can be a verb, it is also a gift.  Love is something gained, and I have trouble loving on my own.

So what do I use?  I need calm, and yet love I can access only sporadically.  Is this to allow me growth, to see how I'll respond?  I suspect this, but I am unsure sometimes of what I am supposed to be.

I feel lost many times.

Lost in the need for money, lost in the need for an education....

Where, when, do I find control?

I need to find my needs met.   I need to meet my needs.


If there was a word for "and I sighed here", this would be the place to insert it.

I  will try.  I will continue on.

First Posting

My life begins with perception.  Questioning that perception, looking inside to try and understand the outside world begins for me by looking inside myself.  Understanding is invaluable in my search for truths, and knowing truths are what I find valuable. 

Truths come in many types-
physical:  the elements, what I can touch
Rational:  logic processes.  One plus one thus equals two.  Duh.  Not all rationales are truths, but many are.  Many appear as truth, but are not.  A very tenuous link to truths.

But ultimately, Truth with a capital T cannot be described to me than this:

"Truth is knowledge of things as they are, and as they were, and as they are to come ...."

Perhaps that is a little vague and deep, character traits of mine will follow later.